Few Words For A Friend

For in the end, all that would remain are questions you force yourself to believe have been answered. But not really.

All there is to see would be your smile you force to pull far sideways.
All there is to hear would be your laugh that would never last, unless painstakingly.
All there is to realize now is that you must keep going, whether you run, you walk, or you crawl, no matter how shattered.
Because all you have is a one-way ticket you must waste not.

So, my friend, keep moving. Move on. It's the sanest, most reasonable choice you could make. Forget about everything else, save yourself. Just yourself. For in one time or another, you have to be selfish to be selfless to yourself.

But all you have are questions you force yourself to believe have been answered. Leave them be, you don't have to answer them all, save two: What do I need? What do I want?

Think of just yourself. It's how you move on, even if it feels almost impossible or unbearable. You've got to save your sanity because it's the only thing that matters in the end, after a long way through a consciously-tolerated stupidity. And in the end, it's sanity you'll need to pull yourself back together and give yourself what you deserve.

It' okay. Take your time, and let time take its toll. After all, moving on just too quickly is a drama not worth celebrating. :)

Minus The Plans: Love and Its Whereabouts (1)

Okay, he was right, hehe. We should've checked in at that hotel called The Villas, some two kilometers from the ridge where we stopped for coffee at Starbucks. Then we could've just sinfully indulged ourselves in a relaxing unplanned overnight.

There's no point in fretting now, I know. But it's fun to fret over things really that bad, hehe.

One fine March afternoon, things were a little too 'candid', and I mean spontaneous. It started with me making a not-so-good decision for something which turned out really great after all; and my boyfriend in the mood for some kind of adventure.

We left home at four o'clock in the afternoon when the heat was still a bit scorching. The traffic was heavy right from the start, but we headed out anyway...to someplace we had barely decided. After snaking through a long traffic on his sporty scooter, while trying to figure out at which crossroad were we supposed to turn left, we managed to find Balibago Road and drove fast to Paseo de Sta. Rosa. So it was our first stop where we found not much to do but use the toilet, aside from paying the parking fee. But the walk around was relaxing anyway.

Paseo de Sta. Rosa

Then we moved to Solenad in Nuvali. I loved the landscape, not to mention the ambiance of the square. It was clean, quiet, and decent, just the way I liked it. We took a short walk along the gold-lit pathways lined with generously flowering bougainvillea. I would say there were only a few resto choices in Solenad 1. The good thing was we made the right choice with Kanin Get It!

Kanin Get It! @ Solenad 1, Nuvali

Amen to good food! I had Arroz Ala Cubana in a bowl, and my boyfriend had a sizzling plate of Beef Saplicao. And of course, tall glasses of lemonade for both of us. Indeed, great food yet so affordable at only 150 Php.

Arroz Ala Cubana by Kanin Get It!

Sizzling Beef Salpicao by Kanin Get It!

After dinner, my boyfriend asked if I wanted to sit over a cup of coffee. Oh boy, when did I ever say no to my kind of drug? (hehe) We took another round of strolling perhaps to find a coffee shop. There was Starbucks, and if there were others, that I couldn't remember.

At one point, we were at the confusion of where to find ourselves some coffee, and then only to find out that we've headed out to someplace even farther - Tagaytay!

The scooter ride was fun, scary, liberating, ecstatic, all at the same time! Hmmm...simply put, it was like...

"love on the road!" ;)

@ Solenad 1, Nuvali, Sta. Rosa

P.S. And as to why I was fretting at the start, this story will be continued. Heeee :)

Cello: A New-found Love

One time during my break at work, I was researching about the cello for a reason I could barely recall. Perhaps, it was for...something. Right, I could barely recall.

I found this music video of Steven Sharp Nelson's cello concierto (an orchestral cover) on one of One Republic's hit pieces, Secrets. Then I just fell for the music, period. There started my addiction to the bass sound of the musical instrument. I suddenly missed music and those days when I was deadly in love with it; those days I now want to relive.

Then I switched to daydreaming - me in a white silk gown, playing the cello under the midnight moon. Isn't that...overly dramatic? Ugh. Or did I just describe Keri Russell in August Rush? More like that.

But that must be beautiful! Surely as beautiful as the music videos' introductory quote from Beethoven himself:

"Don't only practice art, but force your way to its secrets, for it and knowledge can raise men to the divine."

And as dazed as I was, and for the love of the cello, I say:

"Loving is much like playing the cello. Only when you play it by heart that you get to hear the music it can make."

The Synonyms of Exploration (Sex and other drugs)

One cooling puff from a slim elegant stick of vogue, and then the story begins.

Bring out the beer! That miracle. It wasn’t coincidence that a piece of bread was left out in the rain, and then there was malt. And today, countries savor the pleasure of ice-cold bubble-topped beer, of how many brands, that I don’t know. The Germans loved it one gulp ahead of the rest of the world.

Talk about life, growth, change and the way to it – exploration.

The American Heritage Dictionary® of the English Language, via The Free Online Dictionary defines exploration as “the act or an instance of exploring”. That makes sense; that one called common sense. That’s one thing I hate about dictionaries.

Adventure, analysis, domiciliary visit, dragnet, emprise, enquiry, examination, expedition, forage, frisk, house-search, hunt, hunting, inquiry, inspection, investigation, mission, observation, perquisition, pilgrimage, posse, probe, quest, ransacking, recce, recon, reconnaissance, reconnoiter, reconnoitering, research, review, rummage, scouting, scrutiny, search-and-destroy operation, search, search party, search warrant, searching, stalk, stalking, still hunt, study, survey, turning over.

Did you read all them? I didn’t. I think I just counted. Forty-five synonyms of exploration from freethesaurus.net. And just by looking at them, I can say a lot, but not more than half, are new to me. But that couldn’t make anyone less of a blogger, right?

It amazes me that forty-five words couldn’t explain ‘the word’ in its deepest "social" sense. Or perhaps it’s how subjective each and every word could be.

Trial. This is the word I want to add to the synonyms of exploration. Try, the root word. And it was for this word that I began to notice the inaudible meaning of exploration. As a kid who grew so fond of Astronomy, exploration only meant ‘space exploration’ to me. Until I lost count of the times I’ve heard the line, Try mo lang. And not so long later, I heard it from myself. Then I realized that the meaning was vulgar, only that I had to experience it myself, not only hearing from NASA’s updates; only that I had to be in the right place, at the right time, with the right people; only that I had to decide to give it a “Try”.

Because ignorance is a crime, and so is innocence, in a way or two. If you haven’t experienced, if you haven’t tried, if you haven’t explored, ignorance is synonymous to innocence. But when the right time has come and you don’t decide to try, you are ignorant more than innocent.

But curiosity is danger lurking behind the grandeur of making wisdom; behind the excitement of gaining experience. Curiosity is seductive, beautiful and lustful in a way anyone could barely refuse. And you just caught the word ‘lustful’. Definitely, curiosity ain’t just about sex. It could be sex and other drugs. But of course, there’s even more, like space exploration: if in case you got curious about how long can Earth stand still. That’s curiosity. And then you can watch 2012 again, and think.

Space exploration, that’s one; and the other forty-five synonyms of exploration are all formal, serious,…and boring.

What if exploration means one stick, one puff; one gulp, one glass down; one touch, one kiss, one night of carefree fun, one day of regret; one change either for good or for a day, would you give it a “Try”?

Why not? Or why not think about it?

Someone Just Stole A Kiss!

It's when they are not expected [to happen] that things turn out sweet, maybe sweeter. People love surprises, that's it.

I'm not so into surprises. I may love the thought of being surprised but I don't always find surprises...surprising. Not that I'm mean or rude; not that I'm ungrateful. I just don't always have the right kind of nerve to take in surprises.

But there are exemptions, especially for those little ones I want to call "snap shots". I mean those things that actually happened in utmost three seconds, at which you suddenly wanted time to freeze.

Snap shots like this:

In the car, on the way to the bus station, a girl seated to my left leaned on my left arm. Looking too tired, I let her. And then she stuck her face behind my arm like she was smelling my armpit. I looked at her. She straightened up and looked away.

Me: Why are you smelling my armpit? Do I smell bad now?

Girl: No, you don't smell bad. You smell good.

When I wasn't looking at her anymore, she leaned again on me, shyly rested her right hand on my left arm, and smelled me once more.

Me: Are you okay?

Girl: Yeah.

Then she kissed my arm, bowed her head and looked away. She looked so shy, so I kissed her head.

Me: Thank you.

Girl: You're welcome.

Then, I turned to my boyfriend, seated to my right.

Me: Sweet little girl, I have here.

He smiled.

It's when they are not expected when things turn out sweet. It's when they happen quietly and spontaneously, without plans and preparations, that things become really surprising.


And it's when they happen without so much said - as if a child wanting to say or do something but to shy, too nervous to begin with her intention - that things become truly sweet surprises. Sweet snap shots, like my boyfriend's little sister's stolen kiss.

The sweet little girl who stole a kiss, with her big brother. :)